I'm sorry, this is a day late, and I was way too tired yesterday to blog. So I'll tell you about yesterday.
Yesterday, when I woke up, it was raining. I found this out by locking myself out of the house without a jacket on, but with my backpack. Now, I have a house key, but honestly I was too lazy to go back in and grab one. So, I ran to the bus stop, which was under a tree, thankfully, and it wasn't too long before the bus arrived. When I got on it, I went to my usual seat, although I half wanted to go sit with the girl and talk with her. But I didn't, regrettably. I wish I had though.
So, after sitting in my usual seat, after a little bit I got bored, so I turned around and made a silly face at my friend. Eventually he looked up and immediately slapped me, saying "I'm not in the mood." To say I was shocked would be an understatement. To say I was outraged would also be an understatement. I was just trying to joke around and have fun and unprovoked, he slapped me. And not the friendly playful slap between friends either, but an honest to god actual slap that were the bus not running, people would have heard and probably turned to look what happened. As it was, it was dark and the bus was running and loud, so no one noticed, not even the girl. I muttered at him, saying "You're lucky your my friend, else I would slam my backpack on you." I was still too shocked to really come up with a comeback or to have a reaction to him slapping me. But I knew one thing, and it was that I was pissed.
I had quite a few scenarios running through my head of how to get revenge on him, but I really needed to think levelly, so I put in my headphones, maxed the volume, and threw on some Three Days Grace to drown out my thoughts so that I could cool down. What I concluded though was that since this friend has been a good friend in the past, I'm giving him a second chance, but if he does something like this to me again, without me intentionally provoking him and him physically assaulting me, that's it. I'm not gonna be friends with him after that. I may press charges if he does it a second time, if I'm allowed to do that, because seriously, I won't stand for that shit. I can understand wanting to be left alone, and I would have, if he had just told me to, but you don't just fucking hit people when they've done absolutely nothing to you. You just don't. I do understand playfully hitting or smacking someone, someone you are friends with. This wasn't a playful slap though.
Anyways, I blasted my music and simmered until I cooled to a level at which I could think clearly. That didn't happen until around after 2nd. I tried to blast music again, but at that point I was getting a headache, so I had to just deal with it. That day went fairly well, with some ups and downs after 2nd. Still hate even seeing my ex. I really try to not look at her. And it's not like I hate her, or her personality, I just can't handle it, looking at her. I don't know why. But nevertheless, I'm gonna force myself to move on, even if that means just not being around her at all. I'll deal with ten minutes of sitting alone every day.
I want to move on. I woke up this morning wanting to move on and be happy. I want to date this girl that likes me, and I want to try at dating. I just want to be happy and in a relationship. The closeness, physically and emotionally, in a relationship is something I crave, and want. Not necessarily sex, just physical closeness, like holding hands and cuddling. I especially like cuddling :3
I really just played video games all day today and I vacuumed a bit, wanna clean my room up just in case I have guests over at some point, friends to hang out and such!
That's all really, if I come up with anything I wanna talk about, I will make another post. Night y'all, Alex out!
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