Shadow

I like to live in a lie. I hide from the world, upstairs, in my room. I don't want to have to deal with people or things. They're annoying and piss me off. They're all hypocrites, irrational, mean, crazy, stupid, and so many other things. But I have to deal with them anyways. You know why? Because I don't have a choice. If it were up to me, I would be living in a cabin, playing video games on my high end computer for the rest of my life. Eating pizza, drinking soda. No worries about talking with others. No worries about hurting others.

Recently, I told many people that I'm not gonna get into anymore relationships in high school. Too much drama. Well, what I didn't tell them was that I'm not going relationships anymore, period. I'm very much out of place in this world and when I try to find a place, I end up hurting others. That's not worth it to me, to find a place. The price is too high. Which is why I want to live alone, in a cabin, and play video games. No human contact. It's very tiring, interacting with others. But more than anything, I just want to be alone. People would be better off without me. And I don't mean that in a suicidal way, I mean that in a learned way.

I'm the support character in others' stories.

I can fade away and people wouldn't be any the wiser.

When people whom I know look back on their time with friends years later, I won't be remembered in any of that.

How might I know that? Cause it already happens quite often. I can walk by close friends in school without them noticing me. It happens all the time. I'm a very forgetful person, and I don't mean that in a first person sense. I mean it in the third person. One time, as a test, I sat in Writer's Block without saying a word to anyone and just wrote. You know what happened? I got skipped over. No one noticed, not even my friends. Even at the friends' parties that I've gone to, I've easily stood on the outside without anyone noticing for a long time. A lot like someone else I know, not personally, but more as an acquaintance.

His name is Mason, and he utterly hates me. And maybe it's cause I act like a complete fucking idiot. Or maybe cause I don't know shit about politics. It could even be because we're so similar. One of the parties for a friend that I went to, he also went to. It was their birthday party. Like me, he was also sort of on the outside. But like me, he also faded real easy from thought. He left the party early without anyone noticing, for quite a while actually.

So, let's face it, I'm a shadow, and shadows burn away to nothing in the light of others.